Safely tucked away in my familiar surroundings of home I thrive, as God and I stroll along peacefully together. Comfortable, quiet, easily heard. When my home is filled with family, friends and laughter, that too is a reflection of God’s love for me, therefore I am at ease.
It’s when I leave the sanctuary of my home that the doubts always come, the pressing in on my formerly perceived clear calling from the Lord. It is as if all the blooming that occurs as I bask in His presence instantly wilts when I face the world.
Childhood insecurities, work environment remembrances, fear of pharasitical judgement…all result in my confidence lying crumpled in a heap. The bashful ten year old girl emerges and the thoughts that my voice does not matter paralyzes me. What He whispers in my heart that surges through me as life giving truth that must be boldly shared…becomes a fuzzy remembrance.
“Not me.”
Why do I allow the world to so easily cloud and stop short, even stunt, the growth that the sonshine nurtures?
I yearn for the power to break free and boldly, without fear…obey.
God is able.
I could have written this, almost word for word! So good Tracey! Thank you for sharing!!!