You have got to be kidding me???
I just read about a couple of teen girls who did some pretty disgusting things at a sleepover party and then posted photos of it on MySpace. As a result the photos got handed around at school, their coaches saw them and they ended up being disciplined by the coaches based on the schools conduct policy and disciplinary guidelines.
The result? These two 14 year old girls sued the school.
Parents of teens, if you have not already done so I suggest you sit down immediately with your teenager and explain to them that if they are going to do inappropriate things and they get “caught” there is but one person to blame – themselves.
And then in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS let them know that in today’s world 90% of EVERYTHING they do has the capacity to get caught on “film” and be in the eyes of the WORLD just moments later. Especially if they are naive enough to actually place it on the Internet themselves.
Is it awful that this happened to these girls? Yes. But who made the decision to do such a stupid thing – they did. Who should have taught them better and warned them about consequences? Their parents.
What they have now learned through this law suit is that if they do something really bad, they can find a way to sidestep responsibility in the issue by pointing blame to someone else.
My Dad coached basketball for years and he did it to build character in his athletes, it was part of the system as a whole. The parents, teachers, coaches and schools all worked together to raise children to be good all around citizens. If any authority figure got in a child’s face when they did something wrong the parents appreciated it and welcomed it as they understood the goal was to raise children to have good moral character and to do what was “right” and “good” for themselves and ultimately their community.
It’s not “if” your teen messes up and does something wrong, it’s “when” your teen messes up and does something wrong…how will you handle it? Work with your teen to shirk responsibility and deny ownership of the mistake? Or point out to your teen the cold hard facts that all actions have a consequence and bad actions have really bad consequences, followed by a healthy dose of discipline and punishment.
It seems today many parents “turn” on the very adults who are trying to help their children grow into responsible young adults. They blame shift – they teach their children to blame shift. Bad call, parents.
Granted, all I know is what I read in this article. But I put my Dad in the same shoes as that coach and what I know is he would have done everything in his power to give that student consequence to the action that would serve as a learning tool not to do something so bad ever again. Would he have done this because he didn’t care about the student? No…WAY NO…he would have done it because he cared about her life and her future.
I just can’t help but wonder, what exactly did these young impressionable girls learn through their own misguided actions…and how will that shape their future?
Shannonigans says
Great post! I know so many parents that bail their kids out that the kids no longer see their consequences to their actions. I don't think I completely understand why parents do this. I like mine to learn a lesson quick! The sooner they see consequences the sooner the wrong behavior stops. As my mom says…."your kids are gonna cry sometime, either sooner or later"…I would rather it be sooner (smaller consequences) than later (bigger issues)!