I have been to countless Easter morning services at church through the years, several different churches in fact, as I have moved seven times since becoming married. This year was the first time I saw my husband struggle with where exactly to place his eyes during the walk in and out of the church building. My sixteen year old son was having the same struggle.
I used to so enjoy seeing little girls, teens girls and women dressed in their Easter Sunday dresses – loveliness!
Well this Easter, loveliness was far from what I saw on several of the females.
All around us, the trip into and out of church was a gauntlet of very short skirts and very low cut neck lines. It’s bad enough that our men and boys are assaulted daily in society, but to be visually assaulted on Sunday mornings as a church goer is inconceivable to me!
I literally wanted to grab a few parents and ask them if they had lost their minds. Dads walking right next to their teen and college age daughters whose skirts barely covered their backsides.
At one point my husband was looking up at the sky, then he turned and looked at me with an, “Are you seeing what I’m seeing look on his face?” That look was accompanied with a look of pain. And I knew that pain was because the father’s were turning a blind eye.
I have a very dear friend, Dannah Gresh who studies human sexuality, modesty, the effect immodesty has on boys and many other issues – she provides a wealth of information you need to make use of over on her site Pure Freedom! She also wrote a great article titled Teen Daughter Shopping Survival Skills – and you should read it if you want to keep your daughter from making the same fashion mistakes I witnessed at church this past Sunday.
I am far from a prude, I like to dress fashionably and look cute, but what I witnessed this week on a large majority of young ladies was not fashionable…it was trashy. And quite frankly it was unfair to the boys and men who were getting flashed with tempting images.
Is it just my church…or is it happening where you attend church too?
Amazing! Easter Sunday also, we walked out of church saying the same thing. I hurt for my husband and what was thrown in his face from every direction!
It’s such a shame–girls beg for attention by flaunting their wares and then wonder why they can’t find a man who’ll treat them like a lady. I encourage female friends of mine all the time that there’s something to be said for being noticed and appreciated for what’s inside rather than what’s hanging out.
Thanks so much Mrs. Eyster–It’s encouraging to hear all of you guys and what you’re dealing with and how God is helping you through it all. God is working through you in so many ways!
I completely agree. I’ve been saying this for sometime, and have even had opposition for my point of view from other believing women! Thanks for posting this and letting me know I’m not the only one!!
Well, I am glad we did not see this last Sunday, but it happens frequently, particularly during the summer. Very perturbing!!!
Thank you for giving voice to this issue, Tracey. With four daughters, I have come to think I may be overly sensitive on the modesty issue. We have had sit-down talks with church leaders in the past to attempt to help turn the tide and to resource parents as we all seek to train our girls to live and dress modestly. I’m afraid it goes deeper than we realize – it’s got to start with the moms!
Unfortunately, for my husband and other men I know of personally, Sunday really is the hardest day of the week.
It’s not just the young ladies…it is the old ones too! Very sad and disturbing.
Unfortunately it is happening nationwide. My 17 yr. old son struggles to stay pure in mind, body, and spirit, but he’s faced with temptation even when walking into our church. Which is one of the reasons why we don’t attend regularly. Girls and women, someone old enough to be my grandmother!, wear spaghetti strap, low cut, high rise dresses. Like you, I am far from being a prude. I like fashionable clothes. I refuse to flaunt my cleavage or to risk my tail hanging out or give a peep show. A lot of parents are turning a blind eye because they don’t want to give the impression that they aren’t their children’s “best friend” or that they provide what their children needs, which is only wants. They fail to realize that they are raising a generation of sexual depraved women and men, which is exactly what this will lead to eventually. Girls are taught that beauty is only what you can show off and that’s the only way to capture the attention of a guy. The boys learn that the women should always show their “assets” and that teaches them to dishonor the woman and the relationship. There was one church that I attended where the pastor spoke about this issue in his sermon…he eventually left because of the opposition from the congregation. Sad, but people need to take a stand…
So, yeah…it’s happening in other places, too.
What disturbs me even more is when it’s the pastor’s wives who are dressing like this. Once my husband got a full on flash of breasts from a pastor’s wife who was bent over the other side of a table he was signing our kids in at. She had a HUGE cut out in the front of her dress and she still wears this dress. Really? Are we so blind or really that unaware? I don’t get how these dad’s let their girls out like that. My husband and I would never allow it. Period.
It truly is a shame that even going to church is not a place where temptations and distractions can be absent. I agree with Wendy in that the mom’s need to lead by example, but also the husbands need to remember the difference between what is appropriate dress for their wives in their home or bedroom is NOT the same for the public at large. It is amazing how intimate apparel is now considered as street clothes. Enjoy the secret treasures of your wife in secret… and teach your daughters to gaurd those treasures they possess for their husbands. They will thank you for it… and I will thank you for it.
I too am completely disappointed in the way near nudity is being accepted in traditionally conservative places. Like church and school! We moved recently to Middle TN (from CA), and the dress code at my daughters’ MS and HS is so strict, and so enforced I feel like I’m living in another era, I love it! And it’s a public school. But I was thinking how wonderful it would be to have a dress code for church as well. Our poor men and boys and those girls will never figure out why men don’t take them seriously. So sad.
Not just your church, sadly. Stephanie at Pure Modesty posted on this exact thing after her Easter Sunday. http://puremodestyinfo.blogspot.com/2012/04/cause-to-stumble.html It’s a sad state of affairs the church has let themselves get into.
Do you rememvber the poem about the world and the church being apart and then slowly the world overtook the church? That is what is happening. The church has decided instead of being a witness, it can be just like the world and show Jesus to the world. not really. and a lot of clothing out there is already made and people don’t know where to look for modest clothing. It is a sad state of affairs and then everyone posts II chronicles 7:14. They don’t realize the evil ways they have!! God help us and open our eyes. Good post.
Same thing at my small little southern Baptist church. I commented on the way home that a couple of teens reminded me of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman – at the beginning! Walking to the coffee pot before Sunday school, I literally stood there stunned with my jaw dropped.
I’m with you. It’s so tough but I think a lot of girls and women really want to look nice but are sadly unaware of what it does to the males of the congregation. As a pastor’s wife, we have spoken to women about modesty (and they have taken it well). When a woman attends who is not a regular part of our fellowship, I’ve encouraged the women to be sure they greet her first (kind of intercepting a possible hazard!) and remember to be loving. It may too late to caution her about how she is dressed but if she returns and it continues, we gently speak to her — about what an attractive woman she is but how difficult it makes things for men (not just MY man, but all of the men). I have had very positive results because she knows we love her and don’t want her to be ignored. But, please, don’t dump all of the responsibility on the pastor’s wife! We are to encourage one another and watch out for one another with love and gentleness. Granted, our views of modesty may differ but when it comes to cleavage and backsides, I think it shows more love to speak up instead of whisper in the pews!
if you look people in the FACE (or if you are walking behind someone, look at the back of their head), you won’t notice what they are wearing.
Simple and common sense.
Thanks for addressing this issue. As a pastor the last thing I want to see is a woman’s breasts as I deliver the Word of God and even before pastoring as a church member I sat in the pew with the intention and desire to give respect and honor to my Savior only to be blasted by a scantily clad young lady singing in the choir or singing a special. Please ladies, we need your help on this one. Do us a favor and cover up! Respectfully, Andy
It is sad that we live in a world where woman feel that they have to dress immodestly to get attention or be cute, but I pray that our church will never be at a point where we don’t have someone showing up dressed inappropriately or lots of someones, especialy on Easter. My husband has been a pastor for several years and we are always trying to encourage everyone to come. We invite and love and show by example and let God do the cleaning up. He always does such a good job! Pure religion is leaving false piety for Godly compassion. It involves finding someone no one else loves and bring them to Christ.
It is sad that we live in a world where woman feel that they have to dress immodestly to get attention or be cute, but I pray that our church will never be at a point where we don’t have someone showing up dressed inappropriately or lots of someones, especialy on Easter. My husband has been a pastor for several years and we are always trying to encourage everyone to come. We invite and love and show by example and let God do the cleaning up. He always does such a good job! Pure religion is leaving false piety for Godly compassion. It involves finding someone no one else loves and bringing them to Christ.
How very sad, yet so very true!
We witnessed the same thing this past Easter at our home church.
Praying for people’s eyes to be open to Truth and not to “hiney and cleavage.”
Yes I feel like it is getting worse, especially with this younger culture. As a wife and mom now in my 30’s, I see the younger wives wearing spaghetti strap dresses and tank tops, tight jeans, even wearing bikinis to beach trips we take as part of our moms group. I believe it is a topic that every Church should address within their Women’s ministry. Especially when the young and naive women are truly unaware of what dressing modestly is and means.
WOW friends – obviously I am not alone in the newest trend I am seeing at my church. It really does make me sad and perplexed. May we all prayerfully be led how to best effectuate change with the truth spoken in love. I do know it is a very real problem for our boys and men…and the females who are dressing immodestly.