“In a minute” she shot out in frustration never taking her eyes off of the iphone as she texted rapid fire.
In front of her stood a little girl, I watched the little face contort as she hesitated and thoughtfully pleaded at her mother, with her heart…she then gave a little shake of her head and went back to her skipping in place, then stooped down to pick up a stick.
My walking in the park propelled me forward and the scene playing out before my eyes was now behind me…literally, but not figuratively.
My thoughts were not of the dismissive mom, for I do not know her story – this could have been a one time offense while she was seeing to the needs of a friend, or handling a crisis in need of her immediate attention.
My thoughts were of me, of the times behind me literally, where in pursuit of my own daily list of “to do’s” I barked out to my kids, “In a minute.” I hear the whisper of a recording replaying in my mind, remembrances of my son saying, “You always say that.”
Gut check.
The “me and my agenda” Busy Mom trap is so cunning in it’s lures. Yes, there are lots of important things to be done. But those things will always be there. Your children will not. More importantly your opportunities to build relationship with your children will not remain, “In a minute” conditioned children grow into teens who turn their hearts away.
Far too many teens have strained, or minimal relationships with their parents because there has been no time invested building relationship. The lack of intentional time spent with your children seems no big deal when it’s happening, but they add up one “in a minute” at a time and equal a strained relationship.
Gut check…do you need to make time for your children and leave the tasks waiting?
Start tonight.
LOVED your words of encouragement this morning on FLT, Tracey! Earlier this morning I posted the following to fb…
“Us Moms tend to be bombarded with ‘mommy guilt’ at various times! The tendency to compare ourselves to other Moms seems to be part of our DNA and often a driving force of guilt. And our children’s wrong decisions can be an awfully hard blow to our ego. But, isn’t all that rooted in pride…’What will others THINK about us?’
There are no perfect children as there are no perfect parents, right? And even if one is perfect, it doesn’t guarantee their child will always make the right decisions for their own lives.
Ex. The CREATOR Himself and l’il Adam and Eve {Hb. ‘Havah’ meaning ‘giver of life’}.
I find great comfort in that truth…SOOOO, DOWN WITH THE MOMMY GUILT! 🙂 And UP with the confidence that HE GIVES MOMMY WISDOM to those who ask…HE IS the Perfect Parent!”
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs+31%3A25-31&version=CJB
No perfect parents this side of heaven and we need to encourage and remind each other of the gift of parenting and the responsibility! Yes Carmen – God is able and my heart is to remind moms of the high calling of motherhood and the daily choice to pour into our children! God is so much bigger than our sometimes misguided steps – His mercies are new everyday! Blessings to you!
Just heard your broadcast on bott radio network and I cried. I am stuck on more than one of those mom traps and I have had this realization for a while, but cannot seem to change it. I go to bed every night with the weight of my guilt on my shoulders. I wake up every morning to see my attitudes being played out between my kids(heart breaking) and STILL cannot find the strength to change. I feel like somehow, even with a completely broken and humbled spirit over this issue I am just sinking into myself and my own falleness; the tragedy being that my children are going down with me. I HATE who I am as a mother. I would have resented my mom for life if she had treated me as the burden and obstacle that I treat my children as. At the end of every day I lay my head on my pillow and cry because once again-self, and anger, and self importance have stolen my chance to evangelize my children. Your broadcast hit home for me and I just wanted to thank you for your honesty. I can’t wait to read the book. I know the answer to my sin is found in Christ, but it is helpful to hear from others who have clawed their way out of the traps.
Sweet Allison – I have prayed for you, more than once and agonized over your pain expressed here. Sweet sister in Christ you are loved so deeply by the Lord and He chose you to be the mother of the children He has entrusted to you and you can Be The Mom to your children. Be encouraged by your ability to so clearly state your need for Him, that is powerful. I get it – I am you. By myself I am unable, with His power I am able…with joy! (most days) The reason I call the mom issues traps is because their vice like grip can hold you captive – being able to recognize the trap you are in, name it, and work with God to pull yourself out of it…is power – and God supplies that power. I hope knowing you are not alone, and recognizing that it is possible infuses you with hope!!! Please, please do not be so hard on yourself, we all make mistakes God’s mercies are new everyday. On the practical side…Focus on God throughout your day (scriptures on note cards, Christian music) focus on others (bake cookies together for a neighbor, write encouraging cards or make drawings for those who need encouragement), work together with your children on chores around the house and make it about the “together” more than about the chores…choose joy and make joy a priority – be silly, be playful, read books, tell jokes – even if you have to get a library book…make laughter and silly a daily goal…kids like silly! Oh Allison…I am so for you…you can do this! Do not let the enemy steal your joy! I’ve been there, I get it….you can do this! May I suggest you spend the next 30 days in the book of Philippians…camp there…read, re-read and pray and ask God to speak to you and comfort and fill you with His joy! I am praying for you. You are precious in His sight..the Bible tells me so! Much love and a big, big, big hug for YOU sister. Tracey :0)
Allison – I’ve prayed for you today and I want to encourage you to get Tracey’s book. You need that encouragment pouring into your life right now. You are not alone!! It’s rough sometimes but I want to encourage you to focus on the great things you do every day as a mom. You are God’s girl!! He loves you and sees beauty when he looks at you, dear heart. Get the book and drink it in – God is doing something in your heart. I am praying for you!
Psalm 63
1 You, God, are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
5 I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
8 I cling to you;
your right hand upholds me.
Love you Lisa – blessed to call you friend. Thanks for sharing your love and encouragement with Alli!
*Just noting that I liked the Pine Cove Camps and Be The Mom facebook and twitter pages as an entry for the Be The Mom book giveaway at what-mama-wants.com. 🙂 Thank you again for your encouragement through Family Life Today broadcasts! I’m spreading the word to all the moms I know!